Cabin in the Woods… Bringing Horror Back?

Why has the great horror genre collapsed like the Roman Empire? Why is it acceptable that a film in this genre generating more than fifty million dollars is considered successful?

Dumbass Corner #4: Michael Bay

This one is so self-explanatory I could have thrown a transformer with the words “ruined childhood,” printed all over and you’d have guessed. Honestly the topic of conversation was a dumbass even BEFORE this brand new pre-pubescent cartoon killer of a movie idea emerged. I don’t know how many explosions have to occur beforeMichael Bay wakes up and realizes he’s been a complete special effects cock nugget for the last five years.

Herpicide: Booby Trap

Herpicide be bringing you another video full of questions and wonder. It’s a pretty easy summary of what’s happened. Three guys walking, one guy falls into a hole that appears most likely because of the color of toque he’s wearing. Two guys get confused, as well as the other guy when he reappears rudely farther back.

It’s a weird one, but you have to admit it’s cool looking.

Le Blogger.

Lazy Disney

I find Disney to be one of the few film companies everyone universally can not only recognize instantly; but be able to have a film by that company in their top five as a personal favorite. With that comes a microscope by the public however. When that happens you get pictures like below, where a very very bored individual has taken the time to analyze multiple disney movies and present us with proof that Disney’s illustrators and storyboard artists got just a tad lazy on these particular scenes.

I think the bear is what disturbs me the most.

With this laziness is the inability to get mad at Disney though. I simply can’t! I can look through these obvious flaws in originality and say “well fuck off the rest of Robin Hood was excellent.” WHICH IT WAS.

It’s laughable not at Disney but at the guy who took the trouble to do this. I mean how sad are you that instead of enjoying movies you’re picking them apart for what, bits of unoriginality? Sucks to be you chickapoo you’ll be the cast-out.

Le Blogger.

Why Batman Will Be Awesome

Does this not scream badass?

Batman has come back in Nolan form specifically to annihilate box office records. It’s success has been true since the first of this trio of badass movies hit the big screen. Now, no matter which Batman you watched through the years, we all have to agree that this is the darkest and most realistic the series has turned to so far. Joker will forever be implanted in our brains as the guy with the cut mouth and Batman as the guy disguising his voice like he’s smoked three cartons of cigarettes a day. There aren’t many people out there who can really have a hate on for Batman; I mean what is there really to hate? I can already smell the anticipation building around the world for the last installment of the series. This is why I think it’ll exceed the 1 billion + that the Dark Knight made.

Chick flicks are a thing of the past I guess. Anne is finally "riding" something badass.

Catwoman, another main character and an obviously familiar face to the franchise. Known for her overly tight leather get-up that restricts her from doing normal everyday things like eating, sweating, breathing and her ability to get Bruce more erect then the statues he’s constantly standing on top of; she’s a true badass criminal/hero that holds a close and significant role in Batman’s life. I look forward to seeing Hathaway nail the part.

The original junkie.

The star of the show, Bane. Personally, not my favorite, and definitely with all the realism the series had going for it, not the bad guy I’d of thought would appear but hey! It’s all good in my books. He’s one of the hardest villains to control, and the way Nolan has broken down his character to make him not only more “human” but to make him the sole reason Gotham could fall apart is titanically different from prior ideologies on his abilities. He’s always been more a brute. (We all remember Poison Ivy having him as her bodyguard) but to see him be a mastermind behind a plot against Batman is going to be plain awesome.

July 20th of this year is when it hits theaters. Let’s see if I eat my words or reveal to the world my ability to be a wannabe box office psychic.

Le Blogger.