The Mightiest of the Tonka Trucks

Jeep has been on the back burner of my collective mind for a while now. Roosting its stay until the revelation of a brand new concept vehicle to show the world. Well, I give you something so astoundingly ugly, a construction company CEO would laugh in its face and tell it to ride the lone mountain trail back to hell.

Kids Are So F**ked Up

After my friends and I experienced one of the most annoying (not to mention desperate) attempts to get our attention EVER, I’ve decided to list five of the incredibly idiotic things guys do for tail.

The 4 Most Iconic Masks of All Time

 

You may be born ugly, made ugly or try to be ugly, but whatever road you took to arrive at the destination that is your repulsive self there remains a united accessory.

Of Course it’s Chinese

An author from Chongqing, China has written an entire novel on the walls of this abandoned house. Now I realize recycling has taken off and is a big deal to most people, but when you forfeit Word or paper so you can use your wallpaper instead we might be throwing ourselves a little too much in that direction.

Saliva: From Mouth to Your Iced Tea

Stay classy McDonalds. The golden arches made an appearance once again on the negative nancy side of news when an employee gave a raunchy bit of mouth to mouth with the two returned soft drinks at a McDonalds in South Carolina. Leave it to the states no less the south to remain unable to keep a gob of spit in their face holes. The world is a spit-tray, and the saying goes as far as your food and drink.

Compu-Crash = Compu-Crisis

Just when you think you couldn’t be any more of a first world problem dude, throw a mirror in front of yourself if you ever anticipate losing a ton of information that wasn’t able to be saved during a freak computer crash.

Dirty Gurl

You ever been to a nightclub, restaurant lounge or 7-11 and noticed a completely wasted lady waddling around like an emperor penguin? The kind of droopy eyed, half drooling, barely clothed type that looks like it’s got more grime than a shopping mall toilet on a Saturday night? Oh to the classy ladies.

Dumbass Corner #4: Michael Bay

This one is so self-explanatory I could have thrown a transformer with the words “ruined childhood,” printed all over and you’d have guessed. Honestly the topic of conversation was a dumbass even BEFORE this brand new pre-pubescent cartoon killer of a movie idea emerged. I don’t know how many explosions have to occur beforeMichael Bay wakes up and realizes he’s been a complete special effects cock nugget for the last five years.

Project: “Oh Dear God”

Google Co-Founder Sergey Brin, also known as the skinny Andrea Bocelli without the vocal talent and an ability to see that he’s ugly as sin was spotted wearing new augmented glasses at a charity event.

Tears of Shepard

It’s not uncommon for me to rub my face in disgust or simply stare intently at the ground in embarrassment like it was covered in naked photos of Emma Stone and Olivia Wilde riding a golden unicorn. This reaction of course pertaining to the size of my.. toes AND the video below.