Probably one of the worst movies I’ve ever had the privilege to gaze upon in recent years, the Divide makes itself out to be a post-apocalyptic basement survival story after a nuclear strike hits a city and most of the western world. Karma.
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Category Archives: humour
Saliva: From Mouth to Your Iced Tea
Stay classy McDonalds. The golden arches made an appearance once again on the negative nancy side of news when an employee gave a raunchy bit of mouth to mouth with the two returned soft drinks at a McDonalds in South Carolina. Leave it to the states no less the south to remain unable to keep a gob of spit in their face holes. The world is a spit-tray, and the saying goes as far as your food and drink.
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Compu-Crash = Compu-Crisis
Just when you think you couldn’t be any more of a first world problem dude, throw a mirror in front of yourself if you ever anticipate losing a ton of information that wasn’t able to be saved during a freak computer crash.
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Project: “Oh Dear God”
Google Co-Founder Sergey Brin, also known as the skinny Andrea Bocelli without the vocal talent and an ability to see that he’s ugly as sin was spotted wearing new augmented glasses at a charity event.
Tears of Shepard
It’s not uncommon for me to rub my face in disgust or simply stare intently at the ground in embarrassment like it was covered in naked photos of Emma Stone and Olivia Wilde riding a golden unicorn. This reaction of course pertaining to the size of my.. toes AND the video below.
An Extra Limb
It takes a special kind of individual to shake off Facebook and it’s inevitable conquest to enslave the human race, forcing us to become serfs in the wheat farms of Zuckerbergtopia. In fact it takes a special kind of person to even limit the time they spend on the damn thing.
Can't hurt as bad as the blindness caused by your friends status updates.
Facebook has been around for a long time now, replacing older shit we used to use like Nexopia, Myspace and MSN (oh I feel old). But it never seems to grow old with us, which in my opinion is creepy, like the old lady next door who always seems to be in that special spot outside your window when you disrobe before a shower. It is never aging; not to say every website has a lifespan but EVERY WEBSITE HAS A LIFESPAN. Nothing gets completely wiped off an online map unless your bloody Google+ who managed a few months of hype and a quick metaphorical decapitation at the hands of Facebook and it’s two hundred trillion lackies on the sidelines cheering it on like it was giving a proper spank to a serial arsonist.
I blame boredom for this kind of Internet behavior and our lust for social media. We all harvest this private addiction to show off exactly what we’re doing every second of the day like there’s a gigantic medical house out back that’s going to increase your breast or dick size tenfold after surplus post counts. The fact of the matter is, the less time you spend sitting at home doing absolutely shit all the less opportunity there is to waste it away typing on Facebook exactly how you’re sitting at home doing absolutely shit all.
I’m in no way saying that social media is a bad thing, in fact without it this site would be read by nobody but myself, my mother and that creepy old lady next door. But I believe what you have in your hand is privacy, and an invasion of that is bad enough, but we don’t need the invasion to be instigated by your own hand. It’s like walking into the middle of your home, starting a fire then standing outside of it bitching because the house is engulfed in that very flame.
The Wayne.
