Compu-Crash = Compu-Crisis

Just when you think you couldn’t be any more of a first world problem dude, throw a mirror in front of yourself if you ever anticipate losing a ton of information that wasn’t able to be saved during a freak computer crash.

I recently decided to re-do my entire resume, kind of a spontaneous act of productivity as a result of much boredom throughout the day. Thinking it would only take ten minutes like a naïve six year old takes candy and a blindfold from a white-van owning stranger from around the block, I hopped onto it instantly while awaiting my bacon to finish sizzling in the rust bucket of a pan I get the privilege to use.

This is my calm face.

No sooner than five minutes in (and a remarkable amount of information transfer later) does the computer I’m using decide to shut down. I hadn’t had a chance to save it, as I was speeding through the task like a naked A-list celebrity was sitting upstairs with favors to be explored and a suitcase full of $100 bills on my living room couch. I screamed in frustration, begging the computer to turn back on, moving back and forth at it because I was pissed and wanted to hit it, but at the same time didn’t want to touch it in case further damage occurred and my updated resume really would stay deleted forever. As it turned out it really was gone forever so in actually I wouldn’t have been in too much trouble kicking it like a soccer ball in gym class.

When four weeks of starvation and sorrow passed I unplugged the computer like it was on life support and plugged it back in, essentially restarting the bastard. On the boot up screen it informed me that the reason it turned off was a security update finishing it’s download to the computer. I couldn’t comprehend why my timing had been so bad that in the five minutes I wanted to type on the bloody thing, it chooses that very time to finish the download and shut off instead of the ten years I spent lounging about upstairs so bored I was sitting on the porch counting stones in the yard. Needless to say I got the resume done, but it’s slander to name it equal to the predecessor who passed on the other computer. Or at least that’s how I’m coping with it.

The Wayne.
Editor